Attack of the Amazing Colossal Latino
Year Released: 1994
Director: Brian Brennan
Studio: Latino Fan Club
Cast: Antonio Caballo, Jorge Romano, Gustavo Viva, Syco Eddie, Brian Brennan, Kenny Cruz, Teo Menendez, Babyface Nelson, M. Vic Mann, Johnny Fresco, Cisco
Gay porn meets science fiction in this epic production fom Latino Fan Club, which manages to incorporate beautiful Latino boys, a campy and humorous medical premise, intense oral sex, UFOs, surprisingly impressive special effects, and a take-off on a 1950s science fiction classic. This vintage gay sex movie is an extravaganza like nothing you've ever seen before!
A frumpy doctor narrates, telling the viewer directly about the Amazing Colossal Latino, Antonio, and his dick . . . well, the size was enormous, you just had to see it . . . and the chain of events, including the abduction by a UFO, which led to the rampage of this godlike colossus.
Bloatski (M. Vic Mann), the large and obnoxious president of Big Boner condom company, wants to find the perfect fit for his colossal condom. He finds the fit in studly greenhorn Antonio, but his condom will eventually prove too small! "Tests" for his other condoms prove to be juicy premises for hot oral sex on and by a variety of Latino studs with "doctors", attracted by Bloatski's newspaper ad. Shot on location in New York City with some disturbingly poor audio at times.
Our narrator lays out the story for us, teasing us with details of the really big climax, Antonio's giant rampage, but first a bearded (and regular height) Antonio appears, clad humbly in a purple striped shift, jeans, and sneakers, studying a mysterious newspaper ad. Antonio has a kind of innocent, naive, yet engagingly sexy grin.
Antonio, interested in the job advertised, enters Big Boner where a pretty boy tells him about the testing. Antonio speaks little English and the tester has some difficulty convincing the naive Antonio to disrobe so he can measure his dick and fit it for the condoms the company is testing. Soft, Antonio measures 5 inches; when his glorious foreskin is stretched, it measures 8 inches. Well, to test further, Antonio needs an erection, so the wiry tester obliges by sucking his dick. There are many shots looking up, foreshadowing what is to come! Antonio, despite his adorable initial hesitation, is getting off, with plenty of verbal ay, ays.
The tester gets out the condom, again, for "measuring purposes," and disrobes to reveal himself as a young hottie (smooth and punkish in attitude and bearing). The tester lets Antonio fuck him. Antonio shoots easily on the tester's cute ass. Next, Bloatski's underling is on the phone with his evil boss. Loudmouth Dom DeLuise-type Bloatski haranges him about the colossal condom deal. He must get someone to fit it, and he shows what looks like a small white hat...
The tests continue. Another tester, a darkly sensual hottie with distinctly pointed features lunges into the awaiting cock of Mr. Sanchez, a thin, boyish fellow with woolly hair and a vacuous expression, to test the condoms yet again. Well, they don't even get to testing part as these two really get into each other. Sanchez's flexible foreskin is ripe for play. The scene really gets hot when Sanchez is made to service the other man who verbally defiles him with phrases such as "ho, yeah, you just came for the testing!" Sanchez is rimmed by the tester. They sixty-nine each other ecstatically and both shoot moist, juicy loads slowly and surely.
Next, Antonio meets one his compratiots, a sinuous, thick-lipped, large-toothed, pointy-bearded hunk. In Spanish, he apparently convinces his friend to go to the testing, and a tossled-haired, older, worn-faced tester tells them to disrobe. Antonio's friend is hesitant, but he acquiesces, showing off luscious nipples. Soon Antonio's friend is arrogantly standing, hands on hips, getting serviced by the tester. The tester is in ecstasy, sucking and fondling both the mighty rods; he audibly slurps.
A brilliant touch is the subtitles of the Spanish dialogue between Antonio and his friend, "It's cool... We will get money... Are you sure?"
There's a quick shift as Antonio's rich, milky load is captured; his cock head is massive, an excellent close-up. Again, they did not even get to try on the condoms!
Evil Bloatski gets wind of Antonio's double testing, and his new immigrant situation. "Send him to me, and he had better be big enough!" he bellows. Antonio appears sheepishly to Bloatski who gives a typically obnoxious performance as he entices an understandably repelled Antonio into oral sex, threatening him, telling him that this is his job. In a moment of comedy, Antonio tries to back away.
"You wanna stay here, this is the way we do things" Bloatski bellows as he gets on Antonio's almighty cock. Particularly hot is Bloatski placing Antonio on the kitchen counter to service his hairy balls. One wishes Antonio would be more aggressive with his endowment! The camera shifts abruptly, when Antonio is about to cum, to Bloatski muttering that he wishes Antonio would cum in his face and about a job at Big Boner but no climax.
Antonio lies on the bed, placidly perplexed... and the viewer soon finds out Antonio's job at $4.60 an hour is cleaning toilets. Soon it will be payback time for Bloatski.
Another test ensues, in which a rugged "doctor" noted for a sensual mouth and sexy lips tries out a condom on huge-armed hunky Luis Lopez, who soon reveals a sculpted dick. Lopez questions the nature of the test, and when the doctor tells him he needs to get erect, Lopez needs help. The doctor responds by going down on him. More upshots of Lopez prefigure the macrophiliac climax of this video. When Lopez disrobes, the viewer is treated to a smooth body with gloriously muscled legs.
There's a lot of humorous banter about the technique for placing the condom on. Lopez needs the supersized one! The doctor finally disrobes to reveal a finely sculpted, tawny body, and explodes gleefully.
Fast-forward to a couple of weeks later, Bloatski in his usual asinine rage orders his underling to fire Antonio. Antonio does not measure up! Dejected, Antonio climbs a debris-ridden stairwell to the roof. Convenient, because a stingray-shaped UFO hovers, extends a ray, and abducts the stunned hunk.
A few days later, Bloatski hears a loud noise on the roof, and discovers a prone Antonio, now clean-shaven. Bloatski performs his usual rant but Antonio's clothes begin to pop off as he rapidly grows! Soon he is the size of the room and grabs for Bloatski with his massive hand. He then passes out, and Bloatski approaches him with the condom. Will it fit now?
Macrophiles, delight! Antonio, now 200 feet tall and with a fully developed arrogant attitude, rampages through Times Square looking for the fleeing Bloatski. He wants revenge, and he keeps swearing to find his former employer. Sanchez and his friend watch a news bulletin on TV (in a brilliant parodic touch, the newscaster warns minors under 18 to stay away from the naked giant so they don't see you know what). They get off on thinking about the size of the giant's cock and begin a hot oral sex scene (blowjobs and enthusiastic rimjobs) in which Sanchez ecstatically emits a flood of cum.
The special effects really work, though the superimposed Antonio hovering over buildings and neon lights in Times Square and expressways doesn't seem to cause screaming and fleeing mobs until he climbs the Empire State Building and causes a fire with some electrical poles. At one point, there's a shot of his face between what looks like windows or perhaps metal beams holding up a sign (which he destroys), as he thunders, "Big enough for you, Bloatski?"
There's a surprise ending after Antonio is quickly whisked away to another galaxy by purple UFOs, but the viewer will first have to sit down and relish this amazing colossal video!
A delightful vintage gay porn movie of yesteryear.
